Kuhl Gobbles the Competition

STATEN ISLAND, NY

This year, the Knock ‘Em Back Masters started with a plot twist as the iconic Big Lebrewski had to undergo a major facelift. League officials were invited to attend a press conference at Colt 45 headquarters where the company announced a major product revamp. Retiring their iconic clear glass, they introduced a new, albeit vintage style, brown bottle for 2025. While the league intern traveled far and wide to find a clear Colt, to replicate the trophy of year’s past, the MBA had to concede that times are a-changin’ and so must the ‘Golden Colt’. And so, on a gray November day that set the scene for one of the league’s most anticipated annual events, throngs gathered in the bar to watch the unveiling of the new trophy.

The trophy was not the only thing to get a glow up at this event, new high-resolution artwork greeted the members on the lanes. “This will be more impressive next month when everyone gets to see artwork for a different event.” MBA Czarina Hillary Scott was overheard explaining in the pro-shop between games. Referencing, of course, that the old, low-res artwork that Rab’s has used for any and all MBA events over the years happened to be for Knock ‘Em Back Masters anyway.

*Screen artwork - now with more pixels!*

The first of two games began with a flurry of paparazzi as Geoff Celis, the league’s sophomore Chapter Champion, was spotted returning to the lanes for the first time since the January 2018 Caucasian Open. He arrived wearing the same league t-shirt he was issued in 2012, well-worn for luck. “Years have passed, but the smell of pizza and french fries in here really brings me back to my glory days” he waxed poetically to Theo, his son tagging along.

While Celis shook off the rust in his first game, a few lanes over Matt Wilson was showing anyone watching that he was highly interested in taking the new Big Lebrewski home for the holidays. With 4 strikes and 5 spares, he ended his first game with an extremely competitive 191. Unfortunately, the pressure proved too much and his Game Two score of 106 brought his average down to 157.5 and out of the running for the win.

*Candrilli pictured with her pride and joy….and cute baby!*

In the spirit of the holiday, people were hunting for strikes. “I wore a seasonal sweater, hoping to summon a turkey,” Nancy Izzo was heard telling lane mates. And sure enough, the Turkey Club was joined by two new members. Justine Candrilli, best known for her strong performance in gutters, delighted her lane by throwing back-to-back gutters immediately before her first regular season turkey. “She went from gutter to gobble”, remarked Dave Derwin. Ugh.

*Look how great that turkey looks over that hi res screen artwork!*

And on lane 13, Adrienne Mork secured her pin with a turkey in Game 2 (In her final 3 frames, mind you). Not to miss out on the fun, Adrienne’s nephew, Xavier Mork, was seen throwing a few frames (with dino assist) and impressed several lanes in the surrounding area with a competitive strike! Proving that for the Mork’s, bowling skill is in the genes.

With a Game 1 score of 172, it was clear that Sean Kuhl was dominating the second event as he had the first. By the middle of Game 2, he looked on track to win with almost certainty. Only a small rumor, spread by a dejected Matt Wilson, that Kevin Rogers had bowled a 230 in Game 2 cast any doubt. But when that 230 turned out to be a combination of Roger’s game scores for the day, Kuhl was decisively named the victor with a final average of 169.5.

Will Kuhl continue to gobble up the competition this season? Only time will tell.

*Kuhl pictured with his pride and joy….and cute kid!*

Other notables for the evening include:

As expected, Leigh Fran-Janicki and Dan Fran skipped the November event, busy recruiting new members in the form of a new addition to their fam just days before the event. Congrats to the family and welcome to the league, Quinn Bea Francesco!

*Janine Gagliardi squeaks out the Gutter win!*

With a no-show on Lane 21, Janine Gagliardi, Bill Gagliardi and Nancy Izzo wrapped very quickly! But Janine was confident in her contention for the Gutter Trash Award and her instincts were spot on! While she tied for most gutters (9), she won the tie-breaker with fewer strikes and took home the coveted prize.

Event Scores:

Event Winner: S. Kuhl (169.5 AVG)

Gutter Trash Award Winner: J. Gagliardi (9)

Highest Total Strikes: 9 (S. Kuhl)

Highest Total Spares: 10 (J. Seluga, D. Jordet)

Highest Total Gutters: 9 (J. Gagliardi, V. Fabiani)

Highest Score: 191 (M. Wilson)

Lowest Score: 79 (V. Fabiani)

A Sweet Return to Victory

Mediocre Bowling Association